“J” is for Joy


“J” is for Joy

Currently, my take on joy is  that it’s easier to experience, feel and intuit than to be able to define clearly.

Joy is often talked about in relation to working with anger. Here are some words from viewonbuddhism.org, quoting the Dalai Lama on these topics:

…there are various factors that contribute to attaining that level of joy and happiness which we conventionally also recognize as sources of happiness, such as good physical health, …the wealth that we accumulate, …and a circle of friends we trust and with whom we can relate emotionally.

    Now all of these are, in reality, sources of happiness, but in order for one to be able to fully utilize them with the goal of enjoying a happy and fulfilled life, one’s state of mind is crucial. If one harbors hateful thoughts within, or strong or intense anger somewhere deep down, then it ruins one’s health, so it destroys one of the factors. Even if one has wonderful possessions, when one is in an intense moment of anger or hatred, one feels like throwing them—breaking them or throwing them away. So there is no guarantee that wealth alone can give one the joy or fulfillment that one seeks. Similarly, when one is in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears somehow “frosty,” cold and distant, or quite annoying.

    What this indicates is that our state of mind is crucial in determining whether or not we gain joy and happiness. So leaving aside the perspective of Dharma practice, even in worldly terms, in terms of our enjoying a happy day-to-day existence, the greater the level of calmness of our mind, the greater our peace of mind, and the greater our ability to enjoy a happy and joyful life.

Healing Anger: The Power of Patience from a Buddhist Perspective

Joy is something I’ve explored some….While not fully able to define it, the end of this talk shares some thoughts on “inconceivable” and “conceivable” joy:


Photo: “J” created by Netsui. Thank you! Go to “Netsui Arts” for her great works!  https://www.flickr.com/photos/netsui/

Beginning SEPTEMBER 8th, A2Z Sitting Group Moves to Mondays


We’re sitting together on Mondays now!! 

Beginning September 8th, 2014
(no meeting on Labor Day, 9/1)

Same time:     7:30 – 9 p.m.
Same place:   SFZC Conference Center at 308 Page St.
Same topic:   16 Bodhisattva Precepts thru Sept. 22

Go to this page for complete info: http://www.accesstozen.org/sitting-group/


Photo by Deb Svoboda. Go here for her amazing work!


“I” is for “I have Buddha Nature?”


Hai! — Saying “Yes!” to Buddha Nature


Dharma talk at City Center on August 16 

Note: It’s Katagiri Roshi who said, “The function of the mind is to secrete thoughts.” I quote this line from him all the time so not sure how I got it wrong yesterday! Didn’t even know it ’til later.

Here is the Terry Ehret poem at the end of the talk:

sometimes in the open you look up
to see a whorl of clouds, dragging and furling
your whole inventoried history. You look up
from where you’re standing, say,
among the stolid mountains,
and in that moment your life
becomes the margin
of what matters, and solid earth
you love dizzies away from you
like the wet shoreline sucked back
by that other eternity,
the sea. At times the spinning
earth shrugs you off balance,
gravity loosens its fist, hoists you into the sky,
and you might spend your life trying to recover
this nearness to flight.

Thank you,  J. Delfina Piretti, for use of your calligraphy!

A2Z Sitting Group to meet at 300 Page 8/13

We will be going to hear Konin Cardenas speak in  the Buddha Hall tomorrow, Aug. 13. That’s next door to our usual meeting place; at 300 Page Street.


Konin will be speaking “about inclusivity, sangha, and what we mean by community, with an emphasis on Bodhisattva vow and how to help without adding hierarchy. So it will be at least partly about not praising self at the expense of others.”

As our current exploration on the precepts is around speech, this will be very timely.

See you there!

“H” is for Heck!…. And Hell


“H” is for Heck!…. And Hell

“H” is for “Heck, but it’s been a long time sense I’ve posted anything!”

Wow! How time does fly!….And, I’m happy to say, perhaps as the saying goes, it’s ’cause I’ve been having FUN! Yeah for summer!  But, enough about me….

When thinking about “H” in context of Buddhism, “Hell” keeps coming up. Maybe ’cause “G” was for “God”….

Hell is one of the 6 realms in the Buddhist cosmology. They are often put in this descending order: Heaven, Titans, Human, Hungry Ghosts, Animal, and Hell.

Yes, Hell is last. It is the realm considered most full of suffering. Here are a few more general details:

Heaven: Where Gods and Devas live. In a realm filled with long life, so full of pleasure and ecstasy that there is no awareness of other’s suffering. And, therefore, do not have the ability for wisdom nor compassion.

Titan: Asura resides here. They are full of the opposite traits of the previous realm so are filled with hate, jealousy,  envy — leading to much anger. These qualities are so all-consuming that there is no room for even the thought of developing and/or accessing other qualities such as compassion or wisdom; nor to think of other people.

Human: Is consider the most auspicious because here there IS suffering and joy. Thought to be in just enough measure to be able for the possibility of a sense of balance of the two and, therefore, the time, room, space for the desire to cultivate and access compassion and wisdom; both for self and for other.

Hungry Ghost (Preta): Here, one is again, so consumed by wanting  that one is obsessed with only how to end such craving. A “hungry ghost” is depicted in many paintings to have a long, skinny neck and a bloated belly.

Animal: In this realm, the need for survival supersedes all other thoughts or aspirations.

Hell: Here, suffering and lamentation is all-consuming, leaving no room for other thoughts or aspirations.

The 6 Realms are not talked about much in the practices I’ve done. Mostly it is brought up as more of mental and emotional states that we can go thru…. often times, in just a few minutes.

For instance: You see someone in a crowd….. (a very, common, Human experience/Realm) You go into papancha, fantasizing about how great that person is; how she/he/they ask you out. it’s  wonderful and, after x-number of dates, the two of you fall in love (Heaven Realm)! …Many more fantasies of  glowing events in your coupled future — perhaps at street fairs through-out the summer; at your favorite ice cream shop or restaurant (at these places, you order all the latest foodie recommendations and before you know it, you leave the shop/restaurant with stomach ache or a hangover the next day! [Animal Realm]), or (back to those future plans!)… on the beach during a sunset or sunrise,.. etc.  etc. (Hungry Ghost Realm). Then, perhaps you wanted to go to the Jazz Festival but they wanted to go to Opera in the Park….or, at one of these events, you catch them checking out another person and, next thing you know, there’s a fight (Titan/Asura Realm). The fight escalates and then they are wanting to “date other people” or “let’s just be friends” …. So now you’re devastated! (Hell Realm)!!!

Oh, and did I mention?……..You’ve been sitting in the Buddha Hall, waiting for the speaker to finish his/her/their bows and do that thing-they-do with their many layers of robes………

“H” is also for Ha!

“G” is for God….and Happy Mother’s Day


“G” is for God

I have a cross-stitched embroidery hanging on the wall in my kitchen which says,


My adoptive mother was an embroiderer. She made this piece years ago and, when she died, I found it among her stuff and kept it. Obviously to remember her by.

Many years ago, when I was 16 and refused to go with her to the weekly Sunday school and service at our local Presbyterian church (over what I thought was hypocritical teachings around the famine in Ethiopia; a story for another post maybe), she’d shared that one of her biggest regret in life was that neither I nor my sister or brother “became Christians”. She was a devout Presbyterian; a Deacon even and taught Bible Study classes.

Soon after her death in 1995, I started to meditate. There was not even the thought of becoming a priest. That came when the Zen bug “bit” me when I went to Tassajara.

Maybe ‘cause it’s Mother’s Day this Sunday but seeing the embroidery again, hanging on my kitchen wall, I was reminded of that conversation. “Causing” regret to another is never a good feeling. Though, with all honesty, I never regretted not returning to the church. There were some years of angst about it but, all in all, it was mild and so the not-returning wasn’t so much active resistance but more of a lack of resonance.

I was at my mother’s side for the last week and minutes of her life. And for my father’s. It seems to me that my mother’s dying process was smoother because she had God and her faith to draw upon. It really seemed to comfort her.

And so, I’d like to think that if my mother was alive today she would be happy that I “had religion”/spirituality, no matter what version it is. I’d like to think that the sense of wonder and awe that comes with knowing there’s MORE than what one thinks and believes (be it about oneself, others, the world, or “the unknown”) and a real felt sense of connection we both have (hers to her God and mine to something-beyond-words/concepts) is something we would have resonance together.

I miss my mother. Here’s a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh which I think reflects Christian and Buddhist ideas which could be a basis for this shared resonance:

“The kingdom of God is available to you in the here and the now. But the question is whether you are available to the kingdom. Our practice is to make ourselves ready for the kingdom so that it can manifest in the here and the now. You don’t need to die in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. In fact, you have to be truly alive in order to do so.”

photo: “G” created by Netsui. Thank you! Go to “Netsui Arts” for her great works!  https://www.flickr.com/photos/netsui/

“F” is for Freedom

Freedom blurry

“F” is for Freedom

Yes, this picture of “Freedom” is blurry. It’s intentional as I think that Freedom should be blurry. It should be not quite clearly known; it should be vague and we should be just a little uncomfortable with it. Like this picture, it should be a little hard to look at.

Here’s what I’m thinking….

We United Statesians believe that it’s our right to be “free”. This “freedom” we think of is basically freedom TO*: freedom TO do whatever I want; go wherever I want; buy whatever I want; eat/drink whatever I want— essentially, freedom to have CHOICE. This IS what “the American Way” is about we think and believe, wouldn’t you agree?

In Buddhist, freedom FROM* is what’s more valued. Perhaps, you could even say what our practice is about. Very specifically: freedom from hate, greed, and delusion/ignorance. To be free from our clinging; our obsessiveness with these three poisons.

More and more, I think that mostly my practice is to become aware of HOW hate, greed and delusion are a constant force in my life. They’re like a divining rod that I carry in front of me….waving over and around everything and everyone I come into contact with….to evaluate whether I should get closer, turn away/run from, or be confused about.

It’s the noticing this force that is a major key in practice.

Otherwise, I’m waving my stick and evaluating from these forces to react to the world…. All the while, thinking I’m “making choices”— getting/gaining/living my “inalienable” right to choose!

How silly. How useless. And how tiring…. All this grasping and clinging at, running from, or being confused by it all is tiring!

STOPPING this force — or, probably more correctly/often being able to PAUSE in the MIDST of these forces — is the key. When we practice, we build capacity to be able to know, be in the midst of, and then to have the ability to let go — to not engage!— in this force.

“Freedom” to choose flavors of coffee, colors of skinny jeans, and what I do or don’t do is fun; even useful and necessary at times to function on a daily basis. However, when the coffee shop is out of Sumatra, the store doesn’t have the “latest” bright color I want in my jeans this week, or I “can’t” go out ‘cause it’s raining or because my child is sick, the ability to be “free” to choose how I respond is the key.

This is liberation/freedom.

Would you agree?

I think so….. At least for now. It’s an idea which I’m turning and being with these days. I don’t know for sure. Especially as I’m not isolated in this world. The impact of how I choose affects much.

Therefore, I’m willing to be ok that my view of “Freedom” is blurry; unclear. Since looking fully on to it can be disconcerting, perhaps it’s enough to just look at it out of the side of my eyes….


* This distinction between to/from is an idea I heard from Gil Fronsdal on a web talk several years ago. I don’t remember the specifics of what he said further on this topic. I do want to acknowledge how impactful hearing this distinction was for me. However, any ideas (or mistakes) expressed here are my own.

“E” is for Earth Day…..and Enlightenment. These are not separate


“E” is for Earth Day…..and Enlightenment

Happy Earth Day! I didn’t know the history of Earth Day until I gave a Dharma talk at the San Francisco LGBTQ Sangha* on this date last year. Did you know that the first Earth Day led to the establishment of the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and then the passage of the Clean Air, Clean Water, and Endangered Species Acts? Check it out at  http://www.earthday.org/

“E” does also bring up the Buddhist word probably most searched: “Enlightenment

Dogen, the founder of Soto Zen, said,

“Enlightenment is intimacy with all things.” 

What is it to be “intimate” with all things? From his Self-receiving and Employing Samadi:

“Because earth, grass, trees, walls, tiles, and pebbles all engage in Buddha activity, those who receive the benefit of wind and water caused by them are inconceivably helped by the Buddha’s guidance, splendid and unthinkable, and awaken intimately to themselves.”

ALL things are “engaged in buddha activity” — alive in and of itself and alive in and of all. Those who understand this — know we’re connected — and then act from such knowledge awaken. We awaken — are enlightened — by knowing the living of our lives is not separate from our experiencing of it in each moment; nor are we separate from all of life. Intimacy is being in the midst of life fully.

From Buddhadasa Bhikkhu:

“The entire cosmos is a cooperative. The sun, the moon, and the stars live together as a cooperative. The same is true for humans and animals, trees, and the earth. When we realize that the world is a mutual, interdependent, cooperative enterprise… then we can build a noble environment. If our lives are not based on this truth, then we shall perish.”


* San Francisco LGBTQ Sangha: http://www.maxkelly.info/sangha.html

photo: “E” taken by Emma Lindsay. Thanks!